![]() We like to idealize the idea of a few good things in life that we’ve seen in all the movies: the perfect job, the perfect partner… And then we tell ourselves that instead of focusing on the small problems in our life, we should focus on getting those. We tell ourselves that we can overcome problems like having too many bills, if we just find our true love, or that it doesn’t matter you’re alone and miserable as long as you get the promotion at work. The magic solution you thought would save you from all the negative things in your life was nothing else than a tale. Then you wake up one day and all the problems are still there. You’re not sure where, but you told yourself that you would know this happy place once you got there. You thought that if you just kept going for another week, another month, or maybe even another year, you would get “there”. When your life starts to feel like a mess, it’s often because we’ve been moving forward at a fast pace, but somehow still feel like we’re standing still. Step 3: Don’t Get Lost in Distractions and Fantasies They are a part of human existence, but if you want to move on and fix your life, then you need to only focus on the problems that can be solved. Pinpoint all the things that are brining you down that you can’t control. It’s much easier to let our bottled-up anger out on a person about a picture instead of saying you’re not happy anymore and that you should have broken up six months ago. We get so caught up in small things like our partner liking someone else’s picture on social media. Problems are a constant in every human life, but stop creating problems you can’t fix. When your solve problem of not spending enough time with your partner by designating Wednesday night “date night”, you generate new problems, such as figuring out what to do every Wednesday that you both won’t hate, making sure you have enough money for nice dinners, rediscovering the chemistry and spark you two feel you’ve lost…” When you solve your health problem by buying a gym membership, you create new problems, like having to get up early to get to the gym on time, sweating like a meth-head for thirty minutes on an elliptical, and then getting showered and changed for work, so you don’t stink up the whole office. Humans need problems, but we need to be able to solve them. It’s very normal (and okay) to have a lot of these out-of-our-control things on the list as well as problems that aren’t even really problems. Sometimes, we need to see the problems on a paper written down in our own words. It may seem basic and stupid to spend time on a list like that, because with everything you should be doing – making a list about it just creates even more pressure on you.īut by writing it down, you’ll be able to get a good look at your messy life. Sit down and write down everything that’s been bothering you. Start out by figuring out exactly where it all seems to go wrong at the moment. It can be the small things like a messy kitchen and the big things like personal relationships not working out, or bills that are overflowing. When your life seems like a mess, it often comes down to a lot of things around us that aren’t going the way they are supposed to. Step 2: Know What Are out of Control, and Let Go of Them Maybe you’re not at a breaking point yet, but you will get there if you keep ignoring the mess. The first step is therefore to take your problems seriously and actively decide to turn things around. We can still go to work and pick the kids up from school despite our problems, but day by day you’ll become more and more anxious and depressed, until it finally hits you all at a once. ![]() Maybe everything looks alright from the outside. It’s possible to get through your days even though your life is a mess. ![]() The moment you don’t prioritize dealing with your problems is the moment you lose. If you tell yourself everything is fine, then there is nothing to fix. ⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄įirst, you have to recognize that you have a problem.
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